Grief Uncovered: 25 Things I Wish Knew Before Experiencing Loss
- Gabby Mazza
- Aug 11, 2021
- 2 min read
Losing someone you love is probably one of the hardest things to endure in life, especially at a young age. Nothing or no one can prepare you for the pain of grief; it is heartache unlike any other. I wanted to use this space to share a list of 25 things I wish I knew before experiencing loss.
It’s okay to allow yourself to miss them.
It’s okay to scream at the sky, wishing they could just come back.
Silence can be so powerful sometimes. Embrace the quiet moments.
Grief can be lonely, exhausting, frustrating, and scary.
You are not alone.
Some days you’ll feel everything at once, and some days you'll feel nothing at all. Both are completely normal and okay.
There will be days that are so unbearably hard, and you feel like you’re never going to recover. But I promise you that one day it won’t hurt this bad.
The sky is prettier when someone you love is up there.
Take everything that crosses your path as a sign. If you think it's a sign, don’t doubt yourself because it most likely is.
Some days will be better or worse than others. Take things one day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time.
You can’t rush grief.
Your grief does not make you any less worthy of love or happiness.
Small victories are still victories. You should proud of yourself for just existing and getting through each day.
Trauma changes how your brain operates. Be gentle with yourself.
The five stages of grief are a load of shit.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
The good days can hurt too because your person isn’t there to experience them with you.
There is no rush to start therapy or start talking about what happened. Go at your own pace.
Everyone grieves differently.
The concept of time will be very distorted when grieving. 2 days could end up feeling like 2 years.
You’re allowed to say no and set boundaries for yourself. You are not obligated to do anything that you don't wanna do.
It’s okay if you don’t find comfort in going to the cemetery.
Your loss is valid, whether you're talking about it or not.
Within your primary loss, there can be secondary losses too.
Grief does not disappear; it shifts. Grief is never something you'll just get over. The pain will ease with time, and it'll become less debilitating. It's almost like you get used to living with it.
If you are grieving right now, I see you, and I want you to know that everything you feel is so incredibly valid. A gentle reminder to check in on your loved ones who grieve, no matter how long it's been since the loss.
With love and light,
Gabby
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